Life

The end is near. It's so close I can almost touch it.

I have 5 weeks and 3 days to go until the beginning of my baby girls 'life', until she breathes, and opens her eyes, sees daylight and my crying eyes looking back.

It's like life and death; or the beginning and end of everything. Every beginning has an end and every end has a beginning. The end of pregnancy and the beginning of a life, which will too have an end one day (which just hit me and made me feel sick).

I had my two baby rats put to sleep not long ago, and I knew it was for the best. They were my favourite little things in the world. They bit sometimes but they didn't mean to, they didn't know. The pure innocence in those little beady eyes, and their little baby rat feet and paws... The tiny claws made for gripping and climbing which would scratch me and make me itch but my god those little scratches were worth it.

Finch had a tumour for a month, maybe, before it really started effecting her. She was a little on the large side therefore sometimes rolled around on accident when she was trying to get to an itch, and at first it was cute but then it became unfair. She was tired all the time and although she loved her cuddles from day one, she was beginning to love them even more and it was worrying. She was slower than usual, ate more (infact ate all the time, and sat in her food bowl) and slept a lot.

I knew the time had come, and it was unfortunate I had to get them both put to sleep but they came into the world together and they deserved to be together, wherever they were going next.

I hope they're happy and tumour free where they are now, in rat heaven I suspect. Where there's hundreds of hammocks to sleep in and bowls of nutri-grain to snack on, and lots and lots of yoghurt on tap....

I love you my babies xxx